Divorce can be a challenging time for families. Children may face emotional turmoil as they adjust to changes. Recognizing the signs of struggle can help you provide the support your child needs during this emotional time.
Recognizing behavioral changes
Children often express their feelings through behavior. Younger kids might regress, showing behaviors they had previously outgrown. Bedwetting, seeking comfort items like pacifiers, or throwing tantrums can be common.
They may also become anxious or upset during separations. Older children might show anger, guilt, or relief. They might withdraw, become aggressive, or display symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Look for other signs such as:
- Academic or behavioral issues
- Reduced social interaction
- Resistance to everyday tasks
- Increased irrational fears
- Reluctance to communicate
Supporting your child through change
Communication is key. Both parents should discuss the divorce with the child together, if possible. Explain changes early, not at the last minute. This helps them prepare for transitions. Avoid using your child for emotional support. Lean on friends, family, or professionals instead.
Do not involve them in adult conflicts or relay messages through them. Acknowledge the sadness of the situation. It is tempting to downplay the difficulties, but it is important to validate their feelings. Let them know it is okay to feel sad, frustrated, or confused.
Consistency can reduce stress. Ensure both households have similar rules and routines. Avoid last-minute changes to plans. Encourage a positive relationship with both parents. Children should not feel they need to choose sides or hide their feelings about the other parent.
Engaging a professional, like a lawyer, can smooth the process for everyone. They can help mediate and ensure that the legal aspects are handled efficiently, reducing stress and allowing you to focus on your family’s emotional well-being.
Remember, asking for help is okay. Taking care of yourself allows you to be a better support for your child. Reassure them of your love and commitment as their parent. This foundational reassurance is crucial in helping them adjust and thrive during this challenging time.